Two nights ago, my husband Brian and I had an “engagement day” celebration. It’s not an “official” anniversary, but it marks the day that we got engaged so we had a little celebration. Two years ago, on July 27th, 2011, he popped the question and I think is was one of the moments of most intense joy I have felt in my life.
As I described it to a friend the day after, I felt like Elinor Dashwood (Emma Thomson) in Sense and Sensibility, yes, I’ll say it and I’ll own it, and I don’t care if it is the cheesiest thing in the world, that’s how I felt and it felt wonderful! I remember watching the movie so many times in the past (it is one of those movies, along with Pride and Prejudice -oh yes, Jane Austin, gotta love that girl- that I have watched so many times and can watch another million times, if it’s on) and just crying and secretly dreaming that something like that would happen to me.
You see, I don’t think that I admitted, until I was about 30, that I really wanted to get married and that I wanted the whole cheesy-make-me-cry-of-happines kind of proposal, along with an emotionally charged wedding (a fancy, expensive wedding was never in my mind, in my eyes, my husband and I had the most amazing weddings -yes, we had two weddings -stay tuned for that story next month!- and they were possibly the most budget weddings you could imagine. After googling: “how much does the average wedding cost?” I can tell you that both of our weddings cost about a sixth of what the average wedding cost….and I’ll say it again, they were wonderful! -once again, stay tuned to see pictures of the wonderful weddings next month ;) )
Many of my friends are artists, musicians, writers, the “bohemian” type if you want to “label” it (and I love them all!), and so, the whole getting married thing was considered quite old fashioned I guess, unnecessary. Several of those friends have been in relationships for a while now, several of them have been living with their partners for a while too, some of them have kids, and yet, no marriages. I thought I saw getting married that way as well, specially when for the longest time I found it very, very difficult to find a partner. Then I realized I just felt like I “had” to see marriage “that way”, but being completely honest with myself, I wanted the whole “thang”, proposal, wedding, to say my vows, to say I do. …and oh boy, have I loved every minute after saying that “yes”.
I’m so, so glad that I dared to listen to “my heart”, and to accept what I really wanted in my life, despite of what I thought people “like me” (artist, bohemian, a tad rebellious ,independent, a little bit of a “hippie”?) are “supposed” to go for. I guess, after all, that’s my rebellious side showing.
So, two nights ago, before we went for dinner, my husband actually proposed again…after rambling for about 5 minutes about what had been great about this past 2 years , he said: “and I would do it again”, and I said: “huh”? ,and he pulled a ring out of his pants pockets, and he said: ” I would ask you to marry me again”… my eyes watered and couldn’t help but thinking that that was the sweetest thing he could have done that night. The ring was absolutely beautiful, but it was not that, it was him, telling me, once again, that I was the one.
And I said yes…again!